john skinner

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A true story

This is my favourite "What are the Germans really like" tale. It's a true story, not one word of it is invented or exaggerated.

I was out in a field one summer day, watching the drifting clouds and thinking about the state of the world, when a BMW full of eighteen-year-olds roared up. It was early July, they must just have been let out of school, and they were full of beans. There were at least six of them. They piled out of the BMW, opened the doors wide to let out the music, and then with great ceremony opened the trunk. Out came — "aaah!" — The Beer, a crate of some fine ale or other. They distributed the cans, drank a surprisingly formal toast, drained their cans ceremonially — and tossed them into the next field! I was shocked, they laughed as though it were the world's best joke. The next round was distributed, toasts and a speech were made, the cans were drained, the cans were tossed into the next field. And so the day wore on.

I couldn't believe my eyes, this contradicted everything I had believed about the Germans. There aren't even many American kids who behave that boorishly.

I had written them off and was wishing them in Hell, when the leader looked at his watch and decided it was time to go. They hopped over the fence, gathered up all the cans (which took some finding), put them neatly back in the crate, put the crate neatly back in the BMW, did up their seatbelts and drove away.

So, that's what the Germans are really like. They have their fun being wild and dangerous rebels, but they clean up the mess afterwards.
Copyright © John Skinner, 2002. All rights reserved.
Last updated 2002.09.18